Can we talk about dieting and weight loss for a few minutes here, before we discuss my food for the day?
These things are really hard.
They are not convenient.
They take a lot of work.
When you add working out into the equation, it gets a whole helluva lot harder.
You have to find time for your workout.
If you’re lifting, like me, you have to learn how to properly execute your lifts.
You have to watch the scale go up as you retain water, and keep reassuring yourself that even though you’re not seeing results, you’re going to eventually get them.
You have to struggle through making your out-of-shape body do things that it’s never done before, when you’re surrounded by people who are throwing around barbells like they’re Arnold Schwarzenegger, and you’re trying to not feel self-conscious.
It’s been a rough week, guys. I’m not trying to whine. It’s just incredibly frustrating. I was thinking about writing this post earlier this morning, and I figured I would just vent to a friend instead of posting something negative. Then I thought about it some more, and I realized – I’m probably not the only one here who feels this way.
I have lost almost 60 lbs (2 to go) in almost a year (2 more weeks).
I feel elated that I have lost so much weight.
I feel depressed that I still have so far to go.
I am upset with myself for not losing more weight in a year.
I am really happy with how dedicated I have been to working out (dude, I love yoga, and I have been to the gym religiously 3x a week since purchasing my membership, other than when I was recovering from MRSA).
I hate fighting with my body. I hate how my stomach gets in my way when I try to do certain yoga poses. I hate that I don’t have the balance to squat unassisted. I felt so damn awkward today trying to deadlift, and I still couldn’t properly execute it. But I’m going to keep trying.
It is okay to feel these things, I think. I have very complicated feelings about my body image, but I am doing this primarily for my health, so I won’t be stuck immobile in a nursing home with a broken pelvis when I’m 83. I think it’s reasonable to believe that many of you are on this journey alongside me for the same reason. I just wanted to validate some feelings here – it’s okay. Keep trucking on. We’re going to make it. We can only get better from here.
And so after a long and exhausting week where I managed to stick to my workouts but ate off-plan for several days, I am back with my keto food log.
CB and I are thinking about trying to lift fasted on MWF. The guys over at ketogains recommend it, and I wanted to give it a shot. Today was our first day doing so. I didn’t feel limited by the lack of food in my system, but dude, when we got done, I was ravenous. I went home and threw together this salmon salad – one 5 oz packet of salmon, two tablespoons of mayo, a squirt of mustard, and some Old Bay and black pepper. I ate it spread across two light & crisp Wasa crackers. It was delicious and thoroughly hit the spot. I’m already thinking about when I can eat it again!
We had the old easy standby for dinner – bunless bacon cheeseburgers and buttery broccoli. I make this often when I don’t feel like doing a lot of work. I actually fix the burgers and the bacon both in the oven, at the same time. I preheat the oven to 400, pat out the burger patties, and lay them on a cookie sheet along with the bacon. They’re done in 20 minutes, and then I add the cheese slices and stick the whole thing back under the broiler for a couple of minutes while the broccoli finishes steaming in the microwave, just to melt the cheese and crisp the bacon.
In the little condiment cup, I mixed together 1 tablespoon of mayo, 1 tablespoon of reduced sugar ketchup, and a squirt of mustard. I like to dip forkfuls of the burger into it.
After dinner, Meemaw and I went out to rehab to visit Sugarbandit for a little bit. When we got home, I was feeling a little hungry plus I knew I needed some more protein (I wasn’t yet at my goal, and since I lifted today I felt like it was important to meet or surpass it). I’m not too terribly fond of CB’s protein shakes, so I went searching for a protein mug cake recipe. I found one for a “protein brownie” that was relatively low in calories, so I decided to try it.
I do not recommend. It overflowed the mug, did not cook thoroughly, and didn’t taste very good. I garnished it with some Reddi Wip and ate it anyway, but I will not be making that recipe again. Maybe I should try to figure one out. Or maybe I just really dislike protein powder. I don’t know.
As you can see, I stayed below my calorie goal, hit my protein goal, and was below 20g net carbs. So today was a pretty good day. My macros came out to 59/36/6, which are decent. I am hoping that keeping very strict keto these next few weeks will help me reach my goal of -60 by my 1 year ketoversary. We shall see!
Does anyone else have as complicated feelings on weight loss as I do? Or am I just being unnecessarily whiny?