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Keto Stocking Stuffers

This one’s for you, Momma!

As I’ve said before, food and sweets are a large part of my family culture.  We celebrate birthdays and special occasions by going out to dinner or throwing a large party, and let me tell you – these Southern women can cook!  Christmas is no exception to the rule, being a day where we feast on ham, mashed potatoes, my mom’s divine mac & cheese, caramel cake, rum cake, and so forth.  It’s also tradition in my family that we get stockings no matter how old we are, and they’re generally filled with a couple of small items like manicure kits, gloves, mini bottles of Bacardi, and a ton of chocolate candies.

My mom asked me not too long ago – what can you have in your stocking this year?  Can I just say how much I love how absolutely supportive my mom has been of the keto lifestyle?  This is why my mom is the best, btw.

That got me to thinking, and I’ve dropped a couple of hints of things that I would like “Santa” to leave in mine and Canadian Bacon’s stockings this year.  They are all keto-friendly, and maybe they’ll help you think of what to gift the keto-er in your family!

Delicious Dark Chocolate


I am not exaggerating when I say I still eat chocolate on a daily basis.  These 70% Lindt bars retail for a little less than $2 each, and you can find them everywhere from Kroger to Wal-Mart to  They’re my favorite, but I am also really fond of Ghirardelli dark chocolate, and I’ve even been known to snack on some Trader Joes or World Market brand dark bars also.  I like Dove, too, though it’s a slightly lower quality – 60% I think?  – but I ain’t that picky.  Edited 2016:  Currently use Amazon subscribe & save to keep me in stock of these Ghirardelli 86% “Midnight Reverie” squares — awesome intensity and the perfect size for portion control!

I literally eat at most 2 squares of this stuff a day, which means a bar lasts a week.  One or two of these or another type of dark chocolate in my stocking would be awesome.  I’d be stocked up for over a month!

Keep in mind that the higher the cocoa percentage, the better the chocolate is for you. Lindt even comes in 82% and higher, which means more fiber and less sugar, which means less net carbs.  But the higher you go, the more bitter you become.  You have to eat 60% more sparingly than 80%.  In my house, we refer to 80%+ as “medicinal” chocolate.


Nuts, Nuts, and Moar Nuts

Dude, Canadian Bacon and I are addicted to these Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds. One of those little canisters retails for about $4 at the commissary on post, and I’ll admit, I’ve never seen them anywhere else locally. I hear that Blue Diamond has some damned delicious chocolate roasted almonds too, but I’ve yet to see those.  Our Walgreens has a generic brand that looks tasty.

One serving of these – 1/4 of a cup – has 7g carbs, 3g fiber for a total of 4 net carbs.  You have to be careful that the flavored almonds are sweetened with sucralose or another type sweetener rather than sugar, but that’s really easy to check.

These nuts are a great healthy snack and they’re perfect to grab on my way out the door to yoga :)  Also, protip: the lid holds exactly 1 serving size, so shake your almonds out into the lid to measure them easily and to make sure you’re not overindulging.  I love cool shit like that!


Soft & Absorbent Headbands for Workouts

I need more of these like burning.  During hot yoga, I sweat buckets, and I constantly have droplets rolling down into my eyes.  One of my instructors tipped me off to these headbands.  I was really skeptical at first, because I’ve never been able to wear headbands – they’re uncomfortable or they pop off my head – but these are super comfy and suck up perspiration like a sponge.

I may look like I’m in an ’80s training montage, but damned if I don’t love these things.  I have no doubt that once I start working on the C25K, these’ll accompany me on my runs also.  I think they retail for around $3 for a 3-pack, and I bet most ladies who work out would appreciate them.

CB is another story.  They prolly ain’t manly enough for him.


Sugar Free Flavored Syrups



Torani sells tiny versions of their syrup bottles, which would be adorable stocking stuffers.  But I wouldn’t opposed to find one of their medium bottles or even a giant wine-sized one nestled down in my stocking this year.  These bad babies retail for about $8 each, and I usually buy mine from World Market (though you can order them from, or even go to Starbucks and buy their sugar free Da Vinci flavors).

Tried-and-true flavors in this household consist of French Vanilla (better than Vanilla!), Salted Caramel (leagues above Caramel!), S’mores, Pumpkin Spice, English Toffee, and Belgian Cookies.  I’m really interested in trying some of the others, like Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Hazelnut, Raspberry, and Black Cherry!  Edited 2016:  Brown Sugar Cinnamon was meh, the other three were all okay.  My staples still consist of French Vanilla, Salted Caramel, S’mores, and Pumpkin Spice.


Mini Liquor Bottles


Santa’s been really good at bringing me one of these since I turned 21, and they’re still perfect for keto :)  A plus is that the diet turns you into a lightweight, so this bottle will have roughly 10x the impact it had before.  Or something like that.  More bang for your buck!


Seasonal Tea or Coffee


Little packets of tea or coffee would be perfect for a keto stocking.  If you had a large family, you could split up several boxes of different flavors to mix-and-match.  I’ll admit I don’t have much expertise in the coffee department, but I’d love a box of some seasonal flavor tea.  This is another relatively cheap one at about $3 a box.


Cheap ass IKEA milk frother

If the keto-er in your life does not have one of these kickass IKEA PRODUKT milk frothers, they don’t know what they’re missing and you should get them one, stat.  I hear tell these things retail for like $1.99 in an actual IKEA store, but since the closest one is 5+ hours away from me, I spent $5.99 on for some dude in California to buy and ship me one.  Whatever.  Worth it.

This little doodad is really powerful and is great for whipping up drinks.  CB and I use it when we mix butter and lite salt into chicken broth for our recovery drinks, and we use it to froth up heavy cream in our tea.  I was using my blender for those tasks, which was a royal pain in the ass to constantly clean, and this thing does it just as well with much less cleanup.  Couldn’t ask for more than that.

Oh, and don’t forget the batteries.  Nothing’s sadder than a milk frother with no juice.


Other miscellany

You could also stuff that sumbitch with things like mini summer sausages and cheeses, sugar free hard candies or gums, travel coffee cups, flash drives and memory cards (because you can always use more of those), keychain flashlights, manicure kits, fluffy socks, gloves, new earbuds, and so forth.  The things I listed above are things that I think would be particularly awesome to find in my stocking that also tend to promote wellness.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog!  I hope you find this post useful :)



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(As a disclaimer, the products are linked to my Amazon Affiliate account. I’ve never used this before but I’m going to give it a shot and see how well it works. In theory, I should get a small kickback if you purchase the product through that link. Product costs are not increased for you, just Amazon gives me a tiny percent of the profit for sending you their way. Maybe I’ll get rich and can retire from this life of crime.)



  1. I love your blog! Your recipe mud cake recipe was posted on Ketogenic FB and I can’t wait to try. Also loved your “ketopians” reference…..will be stealing that for my own, lol. And a fellow gamer? Shut the front door! Going over to your Youtube channel after this post…..Keep your recipes coming!!

    • Thanks for stopping by and commenting! I hope you enjoyed the mug cake – it’s pretty damned versatile. You’re welcome to “ketopians.” I think I saw someone else say that before and I shamelessly jacked it… another favorite is “ketolinas” for the ladies!

      The YouTube channel actually belongs to my husband, but I’m totally a star in all of the videos. They’re mostly boss kills from our time playing WoW. Lately we’ve been playing Divinity: Original Sin together. If you’re interested in that, he’s started streaming our sessions @

  2. Thanks for this post! My hubs and I just started keto like 6 weeks ago and I was totally stumped about stockings!

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