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Regression

The hardest part of a diet is making it a lifestyle change.  This is something that I have always had problems with.

From 2013-2015, I lost 100lbs by eating a low carb diet.  The weight came off somewhat slowly, because I was never fully committed.  I “cheated” here or there; I’m Southern, and a very large part of my heritage is tied up in food as a symbol of familial love and comfort.  I never really got into meal prep, because neither CB nor I like to eat leftovers or microwaved food.  This was all fine and dandy during those two years, because I was only working part time, or I was working from home.  I was able to dedicate a lot of time to cooking and a lot of time to working out… hell, it was normal for me to hop on my bike at 9am and not return home until after noon, and not eat anything until 6pm or so.  No wonder I was losing weight!

2016-2017 saw a huge change in lifestyle for both me and CB.  I returned to school for a graduate degree full-time, after having been out for ten years.  We closed on our condo in Nashville, and we’ve been basically working on it non-stop since then, renovating every last damn thing.  A second assessment company picked me up for contract work, and then a third — I had a ton of work, in addition to school.  CB made a career switch last year.  I just graduated this summer with my M.Ed., began interning at a state education agency, and promptly went back to school for my doctorate.  We have raised 3 more kittens and incorporated them into our family.  It’s been hectic, to say the least.

These are all excellent lifestyle changes.  However, while we were so busy advancing our careers, some things fell to the side.  Class 3 nights a week meant I stopped cooking as much.  Work all day meant I couldn’t ride my bike for hours at a time anymore.  An indecent amount of homework in addition to the contract jobs I was still working on the side meant I couldn’t update this blog but a few times a year.  Fast food became an acceptable dinner again.

The inevitable happened: we gained a bunch of weight back.  So I lost 100lbs in 2 years… and then I put 50lbs back on in 2 years.  Son of a bitch.

This can’t go on.  I know how to lose weight.  I’ve done it successfully.  I was so close to being “normal,” for the first time in my life.  I am stopping this bullshit right now.  I refuse to die young because I’m fat.

Since the day after Christmas, I have been strict keto again.  Today I ate very close to zero carbs for the first time in forever.  I’ve lost 7lbs.  I hope to keep things under very tight control this year.  It’s time to get my shit together.

As part of holding myself accountable, I am going to be posting here with more regularity.  I am extremely grateful for those of you who have stuck around, despite radio silence.  Part of me feels like a fraud to come out and admit that I gained so much weight back… but you know what?  That’s the reality of the situation.  That’s life.  I’m sure I’m telling a story that you’ve heard before.  And I’m about to rewrite this bitch again.

Stay tuned.

Cat tax:  meet Morningstar (aka Lucifer, “Luci”), our newest baby, who is approximately 6 months old

He’s as evil as he is adorable.

24 comments

  1. You’re not alone. Four years ago I started keto and lost weight, kept it off doing keto maintenance and was overall happy. November 2016 I had a medical problem that wiped out all my energy and over the past year have regained a lot of my weight back. Just by going back to the average Southern American diet.

    That’s the thing, maintenance, as well as weight loss takes time and effort. I don’t have any answers, I just want you to know you aren’t alone. I’m still reading and also in the same situation.

  2. I can so relate to you about the weight loss weight gain…I am happy to see you back and enjoy reading your blogs more than you know…Bet you would be a great author.

    • Thank you! I’ve always wanted to be a published novelist. I’ve been working on a novel off and on for oh, a decade now? We’ll see if that ever goes anywhere!

  3. You’re off to a good start and it will be easier this time. I look forward to reading your updates.

  4. Wow I thought you were writing my story with a few details changed to protect the guilty. I lost 70 lbs and motivated a lot of others to start keto. Started a FB group so we could all help support each other and then a tragic accident happened and my emotional eating monster reared it’s ugly fat head. Went back to school for a career change at age 53. Yup gained 20 lbs back and now it’s time to keto my shit together. I’ll be following your blog to keep you accountable. Lol. Happy New you year.

  5. Be proud of what you have accomplished and keep working on the “diet”. Thank you for sharing – I am pulling for you! Fraud . . . NOT!

  6. This is the story of our lives. We all know how great the Keto diet is yet life, temptations, or excuses get to us. You are just human and now, like all good Keto humans, you have stopped the gain and you are restarting the loss! Good for you and for us

    • Thank you! I saw someone post on reddit that you should “eat good from New Years to Christmas, and eat whatever the hell you want between Christmas and New Year’s,” or something like that. I think that is going to be my goal for this year!

  7. Marcie Graham (Amherstburg, Ontario)

    You’d think, given your frenetic pace, you’d lose weight from that alone. It’s unfair to have to diet and I deeply admire your willingness to do it. I think losing weight via dieting is harder than quitting smoking (a highly pleasurable addiction that kept my weight down but gave me COPD. My really, really bad). I’d suggest you take up smoking which is a natural appetite depressant, but it’s cheaper in the end (not mention healthier) to see if your physician can find one in his bag of tricks. Controlling appetite has gotta be better than juggling carb wannabees, no? I just wish there was a way to lose weight without all that effort, given that you already need a 47 hour day. My heart goes out to you – you are heroic to do all you do (bless you forever for taking in so many needful kittens/cats) and deserve to have the body you want without having to add yet another frickin’ straw to the load on your back.

    • I wish!!! Unfortunately, most of my work is done sitting, at a desk… so even when I’m working, it’s only my brain moving a mile a minute! (and my fingers, typing). I wish there were brain treadmills… dude, I would be fit af.

      Thank you for the well wishes. I’ll get there. I think I’m going to buy my kitties one of those giant hamster wheels for cats. Maybe I should get a bike trainer and ride next to them, so we can work out together :P

      • Marcie Graham (Amherstburg, Ontario)

        I’ve got a training bike I’d love to give you as it’s just taking up space, but I’m in little Amherstburg, far away from you, I suspect. I love the picture in my head of you and your fur-folk working out together, you hollering encouragement, maybe keeping the beat, then hopping off and everybody sits down and licks the sweat off. Well, maybe not you…

  8. This happens to so many people. Myself included. You are not a fraud.

  9. Been there done that! It’s a struggle we will always live with!

  10. I found you via your recipe for Cheesecake Fluff when I first began Keto in April 2016. I snooped around a bit and am thankful you are here and writing again! Good luck….I think we all have the potential to stray away (even when we know what works) and it’s hard to find our way back.

  11. Thanks for sharing. I’m sure almost everyone who has been overweight has had some struggle to stay committed in the long run given the different twists and turns life’s journey offers. Baby steps and KETO On!

  12. Mailisha Chesney

    Thanks for your honesty! I’m struggling with similar issues and also have recommitted (for the zillionth time) to seriously sticking with keto this time and getting these 80lbs OFF OF MY BODY. I hear you about the not wanting to die young issue. I have two little girls and a spouse and I do not want to leave her holding the bag on raising these kiddos alone! Plus, I want to be there for them when they have kids of their own! I’m 46 (I had my kids late, due to spending a lot of time doing the college & career thing- which I’m now redoing as well!) and I have a 7 & 9 year old. I need to be healthy for them! AND FOR ME (duh). I may be slow, but here I come… I look forward to reading more of your posts, when you have the time that is (don’t sweat it when you don’t because you have a lot of shit to do already!!!!).

  13. Yay! You’re back! Thank you for the honesty.. this was motivating! Might be joining you again soon!

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