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wow-iversary: 10 things i hate about azeroth

Last time I talked about things I loved in Azeroth; now it’s time to rant!

  1. Pansies who want you to give them shit.  Okay, people.  WoW is not real life.  There is no 14% unemployment rate.  There is NO reason why you can’t go learn a damn profession and sell your shit to make your own money.  If you’re just starting the game, okay, you can have a little leeway – but seriously, I’ve raided with people who are all “qq I can’t afford the 100g for my repairs and my pots.”  At our level you should be self-sufficient.  Suck it up, do a couple of dailies, and quit your bitching!  I earned my gold – go earn yours or buy that shit from a gold farmer!
  2. Dumbasses who won’t research their classes.  If you’re going to qq about how much you suck and how you can’t do good dps, DON’T BOTHER TRYING TO RAID.  L2P!!  There are plenty of websites out there that are excellent resources: Elitist Jerks, MMO-Champs, even the WoW forums.  If you don’t understand what those (oftentimes) highly-technical sites are telling you, then find someone on your server who is an excellent example of your class and quiz them.  Most of the time other players are more than happy to help you tweak your priority and gear for better numbers.
  3. Lazy bastards who aren’t prepared.  You are doing yourself and your guild mates a huge disservice if you show up to raid lacking gems, enchants, and any applicable consumables.  If you can’t afford the gear, you can’t afford to raid – don’t use “qq i don’t have gold” as an excuse; see #1.  You look bad and you make your guild look bad if they take you.  Don’t be a charity case; research the fights, be gemmed, be enchanted, and have pots/food/flasks if you know the guild bank doesn’t provide them.
  4. Know-it-alls.  If you don’t play my class, don’t tell me how to play it, tyvm.
  5. Gnomes.  Yes, I am incredibly racist.  These little bastards are ugly and annoying as shit.  I would never play Alliance just because of these soul-sucking little leeches.  I want to punch them all in the face on sight.  There is not a single redeeming factor or nice thing I can say about gnomes.  Wait, something’s coming to me… they have cute hairstyles… but they’d look way cuter if they were SET ON FIRE.
  6. Rogues and frost mages.  FML these bastards are OP in PVP.  I don’t even really like PVP outside of the occasional RBG to begin with; whenever me and Darren roll a 2’s team and come up against either one of those players I cry a little inside because I know we’re going to get pwnd and he’s going to rant and rave about how Blizzard loves them and fucks us all.  SAP RAPE DISAPPEAR DRINK BANDAGE REPEAT.  Rogues can die.
  7. Disproportionate hitboxes.  This makes my list right now because we’re working on this boss and it’s so damn inconvenient.  How come these bigass spiders in the Beth’tilac encouter have tinyass hitboxes?  FFS, I have to get right up underneath spinners to be able to melee them, and if the tank has them as well as the drone I’m likely to take the drone’s acid bath to the face because I have to be too damn close to kill them.
  8. Self-righteous sons of bitches.  So now that I run the best hordeside guild on my server, everyone and their mom wants to join.  We’re not recruiting.  We don’t want you.  We made this guild because  – get this – we don’t like you and we don’t want to play with you.  When I tell you, “Unpossible is not recruiting,” that means GTFO my nutsack, you ain’t getting an invite.  There is no reason for you to ask day after day and/or try to argue with me about why I should invite you.  Likewise, if you ever want to tell me that you’re “the best” at something, don’t.  You’re not.  The best doesn’t have to reassure me that they are because actions speak louder than words.  And let me tell you, no matter how good you think you are or that you might actually be, you can ALWAYS improve, and unless you’re trying to, you’re worthless.
  9. Trolls in trade.  Why do these idiots constantly spam dumb shit, and why do people actually rise to their flamebait and respond?  We’ve got 3 major trolls on Undermine who do nothing on the rare occasion they’re ignored.  Trade is for spamming WTB and WTS and also for Anal jokes; not for people to belittle others or make crazy bigoted/racist/homophobic/religious/idiot comments.
  10. Raiders who can’t commit.  Raids happen at certain times each week, people.  Dates don’t randomly change, unless you’re in some weird guild that doesn’t have a set schedule.  If you’re going to be a dedicated raider, it’s assumed you can make those raid times and stay the entire raid, playing at your best performance.  Don’t drink or get high before raid – that’s unprofessional.  Sure it’s a game, but just like #3, you need to go into raiding at your best or you’re saying everyone else isn’t worth your time and effort.  Don’t make other raiders wait around on you.  Come back on time after breaks.  Don’t arrive late.  Shit happens occasionally – it’s fine once in a blue moon to be late because a family event went too long (but txt or call someone and let them know! there’s no reason you shouldn’t have outside contact info for someone in case of emergencies), or to even not attend because you have something else to do – but those occasions should be RARE and you should GIVE NOTICE before hand.  Being a raider in a guild is like being an employee at a legit job; treat it like one.  If you can’t, then you need to reevaluate whether or not you should have that position.  IRL is definitely more important, but if you can’t commit to the raid, don’t waste the time of everyone else who can.

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